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Love and relationships are not one-size-fits-all. Good thing we have options! Most people assume that healthy or serious relationships which involve romance and sex are supposed to follow this path: from attraction and dating, through exclusivity and living together, to marriage that ideally lasts a lifetime.

However, there are plenty of other great ways to do relationships. Options that don't involve lying, cheating, affairs, infidelity, avoiding dating or relationships, swearing off sex or love, or not being true to yourself or others. The “Relationship Escalator” is the traditional bundle of social norms for intimate relationships: monogamy, cohabitation and much more, ideally until death do you part. Beyond this, it might not be obvious what other options exist.

WHO SHOULD READ THIS BOOK:This book is a fun, intriguing introduction to unusual relationship options.If you want to explore unconventional relationships, or simply to understand your options, you'll find guidance here.If you want to help people you know understand relationships that don't follow the norm, this is a friendly starting point.

WHAT MAKES THIS BOOK WORTH READING: This isn't just one person's opinion. Journalist Amy Gahran surveyed 1500 people about their unconventional intimate relationships: how those relationships work and feel. They shared moving, in-depth personal stories and insights. More than 300 people are quoted in this nonfiction book. "Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator" showcases real-life experiences of:
- Consensual nonmonogamy: Polyamory, swinging, open relationships or being monogamish.
- Going solo: Choosing to live alone (or at least not with intimate partners), to not surrender individuality to couplehood, or to remain single by choice.
- Avoiding hierarchy: Not prioritizing a particular adult relationship by default, simply because it includes sex/romance or started first.
- Asexual and aromantic love, which emphasize forms of intimacy and bonding that our society often discounts.
- Relationship anarchy: Where all aspects of a relationship are based on negotiation and consent.
- Valuing relationships that often get discounted: Ones that don't feel very intense, continue without interruption, or last forever.

Traditional relationships are a fine choice for many people. And: relationships are always a choice. Isn't it better to make important choices consciously, with awareness of options -- rather than by default? More information about this ongoing project, and future books in this series: OffEscalator.com

Zine / pamphlet. Published by Microcosm! STI FAQ: Keep Calm and Learn Real Facts About Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Got an STI (sexually transmitted infection)? Or just worried you'll get one? In this informative and crass zine, two sex therapists and a doctor cut through the mysteries and misinformation around STIs and tell you what you actually need to know about herpes, HPV, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV/AIDS. This zine covers the medical aspects: How do you know if you have one? How do they test? How are they treated? Then there are the potentially even more important questions: How do you deal when you do have one? Who do you tell and what do you say and when (yes, there's a script)? How do you avoid passing it along in the future? How do you forgive everyone involved and get on with your sex life? 

By Leslie Feinberg, 2014, Paperback

20th Anniversary Author Edition

Did you know? In accordance with Leslie Feinberg's wishes, Queer Haven Books sells Stone Butch Blues at-cost. If you'd like to help keep our doors open, please consider adding a one-time donation or monthly membership to your order. We appreciate your support!

Published in 1993, this brave, original novel is considered to be the finest account ever written of the complexities of a transgendered existence. Woman or man? That’s the question that rages like a storm around Jess Goldberg, clouding her life and her identity. Growing up differently gendered in a blue--collar town in the 1950’s, coming out as a butch in the bars and factories of the prefeminist ’60s, deciding to pass as a man in order to survive when she is left without work or a community in the early ’70s. This powerful, provocative and deeply moving novel sees Jess coming full circle, she learns to accept the complexities of being a transgendered person in a world demanding simple explanations: a he-she emerging whole, weathering the turbulence. Leslie Feinberg is also the author of Trans Liberation, Trans Gender Warriors and Transgender Liberation, and is a noted activist and speaker on transgender issues.

An exhilarating and tender debut graphic novel that is an ode to the love and connection shared among three women and the child they all adore.

2022 Cartoonist Studio Prize WINNER

2022 Lynd Ward Graphic Novel Prize WINNER

2022 Lambda Literary Award WINNER, LGBTQ Comics

2022 ALA Stonewall Award Honor Book

2021 National Book Foundation "5 Under 35" Honoree

Bron and Ray are a queer couple who enjoy their role as the fun weirdo aunties to Ray’s niece, six-year-old Nessie. Their playdates are little oases of wildness, joy, and ease in all three of their lives, which ping-pong between familial tensions and deep-seeded personal stumbling blocks. As their emotional intimacy erodes, Ray and Bron isolate from each other and attempt to repair their broken family ties ― Ray with her overworked, resentful single-mother sister and Bron with her religious teenage sister who doesn’t fully grasp the complexities of gender identity. Taking a leap of faith, each opens up and learns they have more in common with their siblings than they ever knew.

At turns joyful and heartbreaking, Stone Fruit reveals through intimately naturalistic dialog and blue-hued watercolor how painful it can be to truly become vulnerable to your loved ones ― and how fulfilling it is to be finally understood for who you are. Lee Lai is one of the most exciting new voices to break into the comics medium and she has created one of the truly sophisticated graphic novel debuts in recent memory.

Black and white illustrations.

The definitive account of the Stonewall Riots, the first gay rights march, and the LGBTQ activists at the center of the movement. 

“Martin Duberman is a national treasure.”—Masha Gessen, The New Yorker

On June 28, 1969, the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York's Greenwich Village, was raided by police. But instead of responding with the typical compliance the NYPD expected, patrons and a growing crowd decided to fight back. The five days of rioting that ensued changed forever the face of gay and lesbian life.

In Stonewall, renowned historian and activist Martin Duberman tells the full story of this pivotal moment in history. With riveting narrative skill, he re-creates those revolutionary, sweltering nights in vivid detail through the lives of six people who were drawn into the struggle for LGBTQ rights. Their stories combine to form an unforgettable portrait of the repression that led up to the riots, which culminates when they triumphantly participate in the first gay rights march of 1970, the roots of today's pride marches. 

Fifty years after the riots, Stonewall remains a rare work that evokes with a human touch an event in history that still profoundly affects life today.

From the New York Times bestselling author of Mostly Dead Things, a sparkling and funny new novel of entertainment, ambition, art, and love.

Cherry Hendricks might be down on her luck, but she can write the book on what makes something funny: she’s a professional clown who creates raucous, zany fun at gigs all over Orlando. Between her clowning and her shifts at an aquarium store for extra cash, she’s always hustling. Not to mention balancing her judgmental mother, her messy love life, and her equally messy community of fellow performers.

Things start looking up when Cherry meets Margot the Magnificent—a much older lesbian magician—who seems to have worked out the lines between art, business, and life, and has a slick, successful career to prove it. With Margot’s mentorship and industry connections, Cherry is sure to take her art to the next level. Plus, Margot is sexy as hell. It’s not long before Cherry must decide how much she’s willing to risk for Margot and for her own explosive new act—and what kind of clown she wants to be under her suit.

Equal parts bravado, tenderness, and humor, and bursting with misfits, magicians, musicians, and mimes, Stop Me If You've Heard This One is a masterpiece of comedic fiction that asks big questions about art and performance, friendship and community, and the importance of timing in jokes and in life.

By: Bernadette Barton (Author), 2017, Paperback

What
kind of woman dances naked for money? Bernadette Barton takes us inside
countless strip bars and clubs, from upscale to back road as well as those that
specialize in lap dancing, table dancing, topless only, and peep shows, to
reveal the startling lives of exotic dancers.

Originally published in 2006, the product of years of first-hand research in strip clubs around the country, Stripped is a classic portrait of what it’s like for those who choose to strip as a profession. Barton explores why women begin stripping, the initial excitement and financial rewards of the work, the dangers of the life—namely, drugs and prostitution—and, inevitably, the difficulties in staying in the business over time, especially for their relationships, sexuality and self-esteem.

In this completely revised and updated edition, Barton returns to the strip clubs she originally studied to observe the major changes in the industry that have occurred over the last decade. She examines how “raunch culture” affects exotic dancers’ treatment by their clientele, who are now accustomed to seeing nudity and sexualized performance in accessible, R and X -rated media from a variety of outlets, particularly the Internet. Barton explores how new media has transformed exotic dancing, allowing dancers to build an online brand, but also introducing possibilities for customers to take unauthorized nude photos and videos of the entertainers.. And finally, Barton speaks to new dancers as well as dancers she interviewed in the previous edition, examining how the toll of stripping still impacts the lives of exotic dancers in a changing industry. Incorporating new scholarship, new observations, and increased awareness of emerging media technology, Barton brings a fresh and important perspective on the challenges that women face working in the still-thriving world of exotic dancing.

By: KJ Charles (Author), 2021, Paperback

Will Darling is all right. His business is doing well, and so is his illicit relationship with Kim Secretan--disgraced aristocrat, ex-spy, amateur book-dealer. It’s starting to feel like he’s got his life under control.And then a brutal murder in a gentleman’s club plunges them back into the shadow world of crime, deception, and the power of privilege. Worse, it brings them up against Kim’s noble, hostile family, and his upper-class life where Will can never belong.With old and new enemies against them, and secrets on every side, Will and Kim have to fight for each other harder than ever—or be torn apart for good.

RECOMMENDED BY GILLIAN FLYNN ON THE TODAY SHOW • “A lush, seductive Southern Gothic that’s deliciously queer . . . K. L. Cerra’s gift for gorgeous, gruesome atmosphere had me spellbound.”—Layne Fargo, author of They Never Learn
 
A woman investigating her brother’s apparent suicide finds herself falling for her prime suspect—his darkly mysterious girlfriend—in this “creepy, compelling, and utterly original” (Karen Dionne) thriller.

“Get it out of me.”

It was the last message Holly received from her brother, Dane, before he was found cleaved open in the lavish Savannah townhouse of his girlfriend, Maura. Police ruled his death a suicide sparked by psychosis, but Holly can’t shake the idea that something else must have happened—something involving another message he sent earlier that night about a “game” Maura wanted to play.

Determined to discover the truth, Holly begins to stalk Maura, a magnetic, black-eyed florist with a penchant for carnivorous plants. But what begins as an investigation quickly veers into a fixation that lures Holly into the depths of Maura’s world: Savannah high society, eerie black roses, and a whisper of something more sinister. Soon Holly is feeling a dark attraction to the one woman she shouldn’t trust. As Holly falls deeper for Maura and her secrets, she’s left with only one choice: find out what happened to Dane or meet the same fate.

An ever-expanding and panicked Wonder Woman lurches through a city skyline begging Steve to stop her. A twisted queen of sorority row crashes her convertible trying to escape her queer shame. A suave butch emcee introduces the sequined and feathered stars of the era’s most celebrated drag revue. For an unsettled and retrenching postwar America, these startling figures betrayed the failure of promised consensus and appeasing conformity. They could also be cruel, painful, and disciplinary jokes. It turns out that an obsession with managing gender and female sexuality after the war would hardly contain them. On the contrary, it spread their campy manifestations throughout mainstream culture.
 
Offering the first major consideration of lesbian camp in American popular culture, Suffering Sappho! traces a larger-than-life lesbian menace across midcentury media forms to propose five prototypical queer icons—the sicko, the monster, the spinster, the Amazon, and the rebel. On the pages of comics and sensational pulp fiction and the dramas of television and drive-in movies, Barbara Jane Brickman discovers evidence not just of campy sexual deviants but of troubling female performers, whose failures could be epic but whose subversive potential could inspire.

Supplemental images of interest related to this title: George and Lomas; Connie Minerva; Cat On Hot Tin; and Beulah and Oriole.

By: Caitlin Cass (Author), 2024, Hardback

New Yorker contributing cartoonist Caitlin Cass traces the fight for suffrage in the U.S. from the 1848 Seneca Falls Convention to the Voting Rights Act of 1965. This intersectional history of women and voting rights chronicles the suffrage movement’s triumphs, setbacks, and problematic aspects.

Best Art Books of 2024, Hyperallergic

“She put in her work, but there’s so much left to do.” Begun in the Antebellum era, the song of suffrage was a rallying cry across the nation that would persist over a century. Capturing the spirit of this refrain, New Yorker contributing cartoonist Caitlin Cass pens a sweeping history of women’s suffrage in the U.S. ― a kaleidoscopic story akin to a triumphant and mournful protest song that spans decades and echoes into the present.

In Suffrage Song, Cass takes a critical, intersectional approach to the movement’s history ― celebrating the pivotal, hard-fought battles for voting rights while also laying bare the racist compromises suffrage leaders made along the way. She explores the multigenerational arc of the movement, humanizing key historical figures from the early days of the suffrage fight (Susan B. Anthony, Frances Watkins Harper), to the dawn of the “New Women” (Alice Paul, Mary Church Terrell), to the Civil Rights era (Fannie Lou Hamer, Ella Baker). Additionally, this book sheds light on less chronicled figures such as Zitkala-Ša and Mabel Ping Hua-Lee, whose stories reveal the complex racial dynamics that haunt this history.

The interiors include 4 foldouts, most notably a 4-page map detailing where women could vote in the US in 1919, leading up to the ratification of the 19th Amendment. Impeccably researched and rendered in an engaging and accessible comics style, Suffrage Song is sure to spark discussion on the vital issue of voting rights that continues to resonate today.

Full-color illustrations throughout

Lee Mandelo's debut Summer Sons is a sweltering, queer Southern Gothic that crosses Appalachian street racing with academic intrigue, all haunted by a hungry ghost.

Andrew and Eddie did everything together, best friends bonded more deeply than brothers, until Eddie left Andrew behind to start his graduate program at Vanderbilt. Six months later, only days before Andrew was to join him in Nashville, Eddie dies of an apparent suicide. He leaves Andrew a horrible inheritance: a roommate he doesn’t know, friends he never asked for, and a gruesome phantom that hungers for him.

As Andrew searches for the truth of Eddie’s death, he uncovers the lies and secrets left behind by the person he trusted most, discovering a family history soaked in blood and death. Whirling between the backstabbing academic world where Eddie spent his days and the circle of hot boys, fast cars, and hard drugs that ruled Eddie’s nights, the walls Andrew has built against the world begin to crumble.

And there is something awful lurking, waiting for those walls to fall.

For fans of Normal People, a queer, coming-of-age debut of impossible first love, first loss, and first heartbreak…

It’s the early 1990’s in the small town of Crossmore, Ireland, and Lucy knows what she’s expected to do. Fall in love with the son of the farmer next door, marry him, pray for children, and never, under any circumstances reveal the truth–that she doesn’t think marriage or motherhood or staying in Crossmore is for her. That the reason she knows this, is because of her close friend, Susannah.

For years, Lucy buries her obsession, until one summer, right before graduation, when her friendship with Susannah escalates. Now, Lucy will do anything to keep their secret safe. Their relationship is both the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to her–Lucy loves Susannah, but every day, it feels like Crossmore, Lucy’s mother, and their social mores are closing in. And when Susannah decides she no longer wants to hide, Lucy must make a devastating choice.

Tender and heartbreaking, Sunburn portrays the realities of growing up in a small rural town–from the long, hot summers, to the pressures of a conservative, traditional community where everyone knows each other’s business. It’ll leave you aching for your own first love.

By: Noah Bodie (Author), 2024, Paperback, Book 1 of The Desert Rose Saga

"Suneater" is a captivating story about trust, family, and self-discovery. It follows Andreas and Simon's chance meeting as they navigate a world of mystery, magic, and turmoil. As they confront their pasts and grapple with their intertwined destinies, they must unravel the complexities of their relationships and confront their feelings for one another. This captivating narrative explores themes of loyalty, resilience, and the enduring power of human connection, offering a rich and immersive journey into the depths of the human spirit.

The Desert Rose Saga

Andreas Dwyer struggles to establish his identity outside of his family's notoriety. A chance meeting with an orc mercenary named Simon propels the half-elf on a journey of self-discovery, laughter, and romantic tension. Can they let down their guard and foster a budding romance? Will Andreas discover the meaning behind cryptic messages concerning his future? These unlikely heroes may hold the key to changing the world's fate, and they don't even know it.

LGBTQIA2+ - Fantasy Romance - Dark Fantasy

A major poet and literary critic leads an aesthetic adventure through poems about queer experience, by writers who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, trans, nonbinary, gender fluid, and more.

A groundbreaking anthology edited by acclaimed poet, critic, and scholar Stephanie Burt, Super Gay Poems brings together fifty-one works encompassing the wide range of queer and trans verse after the Stonewall uprising of 1969. Since that galvanizing moment, poetry has served as both a vehicle for queer liberation and a witness to its sometimes fragile, sometimes ebullient flourishing, across the world.

The poems in this anthology represent the great variety of queer and trans life itself. They include near-sonnets, iambic couplets, and rhymed quatrains; skinny dimeters and shaped poems; chatty free verse and intentionally inaccurate translations; the demotic and the rococo. Arranged in chronological order, the selections trace queer culture’s recent evolutions. Frank O’Hara, Audre Lorde, Judy Grahn, James Merrill, Thom Gunn, Jackie Kay, Adrienne Rich, Chen Chen, essa ranapiri, and The Cyborg Jillian Weise―poets widely known and poets who deserve to be―share their alienation, their euphoria, and their encounters with a protean community as it discovers new solidarities and new selves.

Each piece is paired with a concise, eye-opening essay in Burt’s trademark style, with verve and an inimitable literary ear. A treasury of aesthetic experience and insight, Super Gay Poems points protestors, political organizers, poetry lovers, and LGBTQIA+ readers toward many beautiful tomorrows.